Today we celebrate our independence day and like the “hugots” always say it is also a happy single’s day. Although some would rather say that it’s somehow ironic, “happy singles?”. People usually say that being single is synonymous to being lonely; that not being in a relationship is almost a disability, especially when you’re at an age where you are, as society dictates, expected to have one. It’s tiring to explain yourself every family gathering and friendly reunions that you are just in fact don’t really have someone with and did not change your preference or planning to be part of the Holy Orders as they probably assumed.
As a 28 year old, no-girlfriend-since-birth, living in a time where 9th graders have more romantic experiences than you, it’s really somehow frustrating. Most of your friends are getting married and having kids while you are not even close to getting either. Worse, is the kids who you used to baby-sit before are already at an age where they are getting in relationships and they now know a lot about it or better than you. So most people ask, “Why aren’t you have a girlfriend?”. Well, it’s really a question which is both hard and tiring to answer. It’s hard because you really don’t know the answer. ‘Coz how are you going to know? Relationships are mutual feelings and you can’t just ask one side about it. Go take a survey among all the girls in the area then come back to me and ask me again, then I might have a more accurate answer then. You get tired of almost everyone asking you that same question that you already have a prepared spiel for it but after the blah blah blah they give you that one-eyebrow raise look that you feel they are either judging you or they just don’t believe your answer, so why ask in the first place?
There are plenty of reasons why singles are still singles. Some came from bad relationships, some have other priorities, some are still waiting for someone, and some are in an almost-relationship but just doesn’t consider it one, and the list go on. ‘Coz, come on, who doesn’t want to be in a relationship? Unless you really plan to be single blessed or entering the seminary or convent. Who would like the sweet good morning texts and telling you to not skip your meals thrice a day; the lovely good nights with xoxo before you sleep; the romantic dates on a classy fine dining or a classic carinderia that you like; the meaningful monthsary gifts that you receive with mostly just pictures of you, balloons, and messages; the late night surprise at your front door with sweets or foods then ‘netflix and chill’. Who wouldn’t love that? The nagging at your ear as you go home late after a friends party; the curfew she puts on you else you’ll end up explaining in minimum of 300 words, single spacing, times new roman, 12; the way she turns into a cyber-crime expert saying don’t like this and don’t like that and checks your messages everyday just in case ‘terrorists’ tries to invade their property; and most especially the Jean-Grey-like powers that controls you to just be with her instead and your friends can wait. I might be a little biased, but some people just stay single because of simple reason but for me the most common, is fear.
A friend said to me once that most good love advisers are the ones who are single for a long time. They are usually more subjective and balanced advisers than couples do because they do get ‘experiences’ on a theoretical and hypothetical approach. Ironic isn’t it? Although there is no evident proof to prove it aside from priests giving marriage counseling. Although most people raise eyebrows on singles giving love advice, because they say “what do they know?”. People always say you can only understand something if you experienced it. But to think of it, engineers did not experienced wi-fi or bluetooth itself to understand it because they are merely signals transmitting through air medium. They’ve only experienced its effect but not the signal itself. Same goes what singles go through on giving advice on relationships because you really don’t have to experience everything just to understand them. And because I believe that it is wise to learn from your mistake but it is wiser to learn from others’.
Sometimes you go home after a day’s work and you ask Him why. You check your social media accounts and put that thumbs up or heart icon on that happy couple picture and thought of when could you have something like that. Your phone beeps at the middle of the night but you won’t check it ‘coz you’re sure it’s just your service provider. Well, there is that kind of single but there is also the one that books himself a flight to somewhere and get in an adventure. Enjoys going to work and passionately do task and end the day with a big smile. Buys concert tickets or goes to a party night and enjoy some music and friends. Being single doesn’t always mean being sad or alone. Some freedom costs sacrifice of peoples’ life but some cost just a couple of hundred bucks and plenty are free. Don’t waste time sulking around and think of the things you can’t do because you’re single, instead, think of the things you can do while you are single. You’ll never know when God will give you the right one, maybe later, tomorrow or maybe in a year or two. But until then, you are free. God has plans so make your own too. (Emman Velasco)
Emmanuel Velasco
Writer, Website Team - MPIM
