“But you, beloved, build yourselves up in your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in the love of God and wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life.” (Jude 20-21)
Life is like a wind, there are stormy winds which may destroy and cause fear but later on, there’ll come a rainbow which graces with the winds of calmness and relaxation. What is the reason of existing if you’ll only experience the good things? The sad truth is that we only learn and realize the importance of the things we took for granted when we are at the brink of hopelessness and difficulties. In times of our ups and accomplishments our Lord never failed to guide us, most especially when we are at our lowest points and despair.
Enrolling to one of the biggest universities in the Philippines has always been a great pleasure for me. I still remember during our first Friday’s trip to Quiapo, we’d always pass by the University of Santo Tomas and I’d always tell to myself that one day, I will enter the university and be a certified Thomasian. During the first few weeks, I was like soaring in cloud 9 for my dreams was already made possible.
I thought it would remain this way all throughout the days but I was wrong, I felt depressed just a few weeks after the start of regular classes. My block mates had so much potential and skills in them that I couldn’t keep up. The classroom’s atmosphere was so competitive that I lost my confidence to do my best. From being a frequent group leader during my junior high school years, I am now a member of a group where my opinions never mattered at all. The classroom setting has always been the same where the “smart kids” where the one who is always complimented by the professors and myself, just silently observing from my seat hovering with my depression and hopelessness to be skilled enough to prove myself in the class. I’m not my typical self in the classroom, I never recited for I was afraid of committing mistakes and embarrassing myself in front of the class. I even reached to a point wherein I didn’t want to be in the school anymore but what else is left for me to do but to finish the semester? The tuition fee isn’t small just to be dropped off so I continued. I prayed so hard every single day that I pass my midterms and to stop from battling my depression.
After our midterms, the professors would show our grades and to my surprise, I was often one of the highest in class. It didn’t only surprise me but also my classmates for I never tried to show this side of myself because I’m afraid I was not good enough. I was greatly thankful for my grades especially for Him and eventually I came to realize the good things from the bad things. I was a lot better and my depression was now more manageable. I was so hopeless but then my prayers never failed me, God never failed me. I thought that I was a failure but for Him, I am a treasure to be discovered first by myself. This experience taught me to love and appreciate myself first and stop comparing it to others. We just need to find hope through reaching out after His hands and let God hug us tight so that we may feel our true significance.
Today is the feasts of St. Jude Thaddeus, the saint for the hopeless and the despaired, and may the people who are in the situation of desperateness be under his intercession to be able to realize their true value and the genuine hope which is God the Father. (Mariele Aquino)
Mariele Aquino
Junior Writer, Website Team, Media Ministry
Mariele R. Aquino is a member and website writer of the NSDA’s Media and Public Information Ministry, an aspiring future medical specialist and currently a STEM senior high school student in the Royal and Pontifical University of Santo Tomas. Her principle in life is that genuine success is something achieved through a path and battlefield of dodging a thousand bullets without the course of self-centered desires and conducts for temporary existential accomplishment. As a form of simple youthful religious fervor, Mariele used her skills, talent and dedication in writing to serve her Lord but also to grow not only intellectually but more on spiritually.
