Of Hallow-fears and Hallow-feels

Ikaw, bes, bukod sa mga multo, ano pa bang kinatatakutan mo? Happy Hallow-feels! Photo: Google Images

Yes, it’s that time of the month. Fun trick and treats, crazy Halloween costumes, and scary features on the television. It’s that time of the month when we openly talk about everything scary—from that creepy sound you hear from your room to that seemingly human-shaped, dressed-in-white creature you think you see down the road. It’s that time of the month when we openly admit we’re chicken-hearted earthlings who are afraid of spirits, ghosts and everything Halloween.

And since we’re talking about horror, why not talk about our other fears—those feels that scare us deep down, the ghosts that haunt us every night, the fears we feel, November 1 or not.

Since it’s Halloween, let’s go deeper down the things that terrify us—our Hallow-fears and Hallow-feels. Ready ka na harapin fears mo, bes?

1. Takot ma-reject.

Who, in this world, does not fear rejection? We always want to be our best. We always hope people will see us and appreciate us for who we are, and if they don’t, we’d feel bad. Whether we get rejected by our dream employers, by the love of our lives, by people we want to be close with, the fear of getting out of our comfort zones come from the fear of being rejected. While rejection brings us the feeling of not being good enough, why not see it as something not meant for us? Maybe rejection is God’s way of saying, “No, this isn’t what I planned for you. No, this is not the right time. No, I have something bigger and better for you.” Sometimes, rejections are blessings in disguise. We just have to open our eyes.

2. Takot ma-fall.

Bes, I feel you. Sino ba namang hindi natatakot mahulog nang hindi mo sigurado kung may sasalo? Falling in love is such a beautiful thing, too beautiful we are too afraid of ruining it. We must have been hurt many times in the past that we never want to feel the same kind of pain again. We become so cold, so guarded and cautious that we block all kinds of love coming our way, trying to push people away. We fail to realize that pain is inevitable. Love is a risk. That’s what makes it more beautiful. For all you know, the love you are avoiding is the love that will change your life for the better. You just have to give it a chance. And if no one is there to catch you, then that’s it. At least, you took the risk. As they say, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

3. Takot maiwan mag-isa.

Who wants to be left out alone, anyway? The fear of being alone comes from our tendency to depend our happiness on other people. While it always feels good to feel loved by someone, we should always recognize that there are many other sources of happiness in the world—our family, friends, our dreams and passion. Through self-love, we get to appreciate our self-worth. We just have to widen our perspectives and create a bigger world. We tend to be broken when we allow our world to revolve on just one person. If we only learn to love ourselves more, then we’d be strong enough to risk it without fearing the possibility of being left alone. Kasi nga, bes, we are strong and independent men and women na kaya mag-isa. Bonus na lang kapag may darating na makakasama. Pak.

4. Takot umamin.

Kaya may mga TOTGA sa mundo dahil sa mga nangiming magsalita at nanahimik na lang sa sulok. Don’t we ever realize how much we could be losing if we are not expressing how we feel? Don’t we ever think of how much we could be missing out if we choose to keep it within ourselves just because of fear? My gulay. Char. Joke lang. Alam kong mahirap. (Hello, coming from me talaga? Char) I know it is always easier said than done, and I know how hard it is to just tell other people how we feel, especially if there are chances of rejection. However, believe me when I tell you that it will feel a lot better once you said it. You wouldn’t know unless you let the person know. It may work on your favor or not but at the end of the day, no regrets. We wouldn’t want to live with regrets, right? We wouldn’t want to spend the rest of our lives with all the what-ifs and the maybes. So, go ahead. Say it. Dali. (Promise, sabihin ko na rin. Char)

5. Takot sa commitment.

We’ve all been there, broken and devastated, and we swore to the moon and back that we are never going to put ourselves back in that situation again. It’s not even just fear. It’s traumatic and it is understandable. It took us buckets of tears, loads of advice from family and friends, and a whole lot of guts to pick up our pieces and move forward, and we are not going to just jump into another relationship as easy as that. So, we build our walls and stay away from any kind of commitment that will require us to be vulnerable yet again. We should realize, though, that not all stories are the same, that just because the previous ones didn’t work out doesn’t mean the next one is not going to work out, too. Hindi dahil sinaktan ka niya, sasaktan ka na rin ng iba. Hindi dahil nag-fail kayo, eh magfe-fail na rin ‘tong bago. For all you know, your previous relationship had to fall out to give way to this new love—the one meant for you, the one that’s meant to stay. You just have to give it a chance.

Don’t fret, bes. It is okay to be terrified. Fears make us human. They make us think twice about our actions and value our decisions. We just have to make sure that these fears won’t hold us back from even trying. For all we know, we are missing out on so many beautiful things in the world just because we were too afraid to give it a shot. At the end of the day, our faith should be bigger than our fears. Trust that He has bigger plans for us. Give in and take the challenge for whatever the outcome is, good or bad, paves the way for what God has in store for us. Only God knows our deepest fears, and trust that He will not give us anything that we can’t handle. Tiwala lang. Tiwala lang kay Lord. As they say, feel the fear and do it anyway.

Ikaw, bes, bukod sa mga multo, ano pa bang kinatatakutan mo? Happy Hallow-feels! Glad Alvero.