As I would be the first to admit to character traits that are no better than they should be, I’d like this time to paint out that grave flaws often we have hidden reasons.
The sudden but somehow unsurprising death of a friend recently reminded me of a most important lesson in restraint before judging others.
On and off on different occasions I have had grounds for disaffection and even downright distaste for that person’s way of conducting himself in his job of work (profession). Only of late have I come to realise that I might not be such a pleasant example of humanity as I was expecting others to be.
This goes to show how telling is the saying that to point one’s index finger accusingly at another leaves us open to at least 3 fingers pointed back at me all in the same gesture. A lesson in humility.
The chastising lesson I took from this was, first not to make private assumptions from public conduct, and second, if we have to judge, let our judgement be PROVISIONAL, not ultimate. We do not really know why people do what they do, even when we are close to them – and sometimes especially because we are close to them. Here again the words of Jesus strike hard: YOU SEE THE MOTE IN YOUR NEIGHBOR’S EYE BUT ARE BLIND TO THE BEAM OF YOURS.
Of course not to many people who behave erratically have an organic illness at the root. But there are other unknown causes equally hidden – emotional disturbances generated by a bad upbringing, an unsatisfactory career, the malign influence of a mentor whom he did not suspect of ill will, family troubles, some deep sense of personal failure. People kill themselves everyday, often surprising even closest to them.
Whenever I am tempted – as I often am, being by nature a judgmental person – to pass a hasty verdict on unattractive or bizarre behaviour, I remind myself of Christ’s admonition: JUDGE NOT, THAT THOU MAYN’T BE JUDGED. Easier said than done because before we ever came seriously to the study of Holy Scriptures, we had been exposed for years to the provocations or even the merest excuses for our tempers to get the better of our restraint; a knee-jerk response that’s a reflex in more ways than one: it reflects our own imperfection, our impatience with our own shortcomings. How easy to let the other fellow get the brunt of our rebuke.
