The Sweetest Coffee Ever Made

“Me: Ma, Why is this coffee so sweet?
Mama: Of course, that is how sweet my love is for you”

These words will forever be tattooed in my mind wherever I might be. These words are the only words I can think of every time I feel so sad. The only words that kept me company, whenever I am alone. The only words that make me smile no matter how hard the situation is. When I was younger, my mother, as most mothers do, was the one who prepares everything before I go to school. They prepare our breakfast, iron our uniforms and give our baon. Most of the times, the only thing I have for breakfast is a cup of coffee. She would always wake me up with a sweet aroma from the coffee she made. My mother is my best friend; for she was my most reliable person whenever I feel down. She was my companion in everything. She was my hero, for she defended me against those who tried to tease and hurt me. She loved me so much as if she loved me more than she does for my father.

But as they say, “For every laugh, there lies a tear”. Life isn’t going to give you happiness for a lifetime, and happiness itself doesn’t last long. Beyond anyone’s expectation, she left us after an accident. An incident that changed our whole lives thereafter; an event in my life that I really want to forget. Exactly one year ago, mama was accidentally hit by a reckless motorcycle driver. It was Mother’s day, I would never forget. I was sleeping outside the operating room, waiting for her to come out alive. It seemed like mama just let the day passed by. Day after the Mother’s day, we lost our mama. After a year of her death, I am still in grief for she wasn’t even able to bid goodbye but who would even know when would be her last day? Every time I feel sad, the more I long for her embrace. When I am alone, I long for her presence. All the moments and fun times we spent together. It’s so hard to think that she died during the time she was very much important.

“Mama, I hate you. For you left me when I needed you the most, for you were not there to witness me while I am receiving my college diploma, for you were not here to help me fix the problems with our family and for you were not able to give me any last words before you go. But Mama, I am so sorry, for everything that I did that is against your will, for every single word I told you that hurt you deep inside, for not being able to give you the things that you have dreamt of and for not being able to tell you, how much I love you”. Mama, Happy Mother’s Day I don’t know how long will it take for me to accept that you’re really gone and you’re never coming back. I don’t know how our family can stand still, without you giving us light. You and Papa are the only motivation and strength I have for everything I am doing. I fear that the time that Papa would be gone too. What will i do? Where will i go? And who will i hold on to? But out of all the questions I have in mind, there’s only one that I hope would be answered and would be given a chance just for one last time, “will I still ever get a taste of the sweetest coffee ever made?” – Edmundo Marin