{"id":31208,"date":"2017-09-27T08:24:53","date_gmt":"2017-09-27T00:24:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/home\/?p=31208"},"modified":"2017-10-17T00:21:52","modified_gmt":"2017-10-16T16:21:52","slug":"resolving-conflicts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/index.php\/2017\/09\/27\/resolving-conflicts\/","title":{"rendered":"Resolving Conflicts"},"content":{"rendered":"[et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section”][et_pb_row admin_label=”row”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_image admin_label=”Image” show_in_lightbox=”off” url_new_window=”off” use_overlay=”off” animation=”off” sticky=”off” align=”left” force_fullwidth=”on” always_center_on_mobile=”on” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid” src=”http:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/shake-hands-with-Gods.jpg” \/][et_pb_text admin_label=”Image Caption” background_layout=”light” text_orientation=”left” text_font=”Arial||||” text_font_size=”12″ text_line_height=”1.3em” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid” custom_padding=”||30px|”]\n

Let\u2019s make it a habit that whenever we have issues with our family member or friend, all it takes are three words: \u201cCan we talk?\u201d \u201cUsap tayo sandali.\u201d (Lea Basilio)<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text” background_layout=”light” text_orientation=”left” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid”]\n

Every man is born unique. He\u2019s got his own behavior, attitude, temperament and preferences.<\/p>\n

Like mixing different personalities together, conflicts may arise. Some will just keep it to themselves. Some will find every channel they can to explain their side, hoping people will take their side.<\/p>\n

During a mass a priest shared that Ivatans, for example, when wronged by other people, would prefer to keep silent. They won\u2019t complain nor assert themselves and talk to the persons who wronged them.\u00a0 This is not good because the other person may think that what he\u2019s doing is right.<\/p>\n

So what do we do when someone wronged us?<\/p>\n

Talk\u2026 privately. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Exercise courtesy and respect.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Since the introduction of social media, I\u2019d say society\u2019s sense of privacy and etiquette has begun to decline. People fight \u2013 family against family; sister against sister; spouse against spouse \u2013 and exchange harsh words and threats to each other publicly without even taking the time first to sit down and talk. The days where we face one another and simply talk are slowly slipping away from our hands. Technology and social media were supposed to connect us closer but, their original meaning and purpose seem to evolve into narcissism and fame.<\/p>\n

But we can still change this.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s make it a habit that whenever we have issues with our family member or friend, all it takes are three words: \u201cCan we talk?\u201d \u201cUsap tayo sandali.\u201d<\/p>\n

Start a conversation<\/em>, not an argument.<\/p>\n

In a conversation<\/em>, there\u2019s time to talk and time to listen. Admit it. Oftentimes we remember the first and conveniently forget the latter.<\/p>\n

Before we let any word come out of our mouth, let us remind ourselves that the goal of this conversation is to gain thy brother<\/em>, not the argument<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Seek help<\/strong><\/p>\n

Some conversations can be difficult where no one walks out gaining anyone or anything. There are situations that can be out of control. At this point, it\u2019s time to seek help. Find people who can help talk to whoever we\u2019re having conflicts with. Look not for allies but for people neutral and open-minded enough who can look at the situation without bias. They will serve as witness and advisor to our situation. Should the other party continue to neglect our efforts to reconcile, seek counsel from the parish. It doesn\u2019t necessarily need to be the parish priest. Catholic churches all over the world have ministries we can easily reach out to.<\/p>\n

Let go<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sometimes, we can only do so much. Man was created with free will so freely he will choose, though we all know there are consequences for every choice he makes. We tried, and that matters a lot.<\/p>\n

Yes, it\u2019s quite difficult to let go of someone dear to us but remember that letting them go doesn\u2019t mean we\u2019re giving up on them. People sometimes learn the hard way so let them learn. Just stand by and wait for the opportune moment, that moment where they will welcome us to step in.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s indeed difficult to start a conversation about someone\u2019s fault and how it affected us. Some just couldn\u2019t stand the \u201cdrama\u201d of it. Good news is, it doesn\u2019t have to be \u2018dramatic\u201d. It can be a simple conversation over lunch or over coffee or over a walk in the park.<\/p>\n

Remember this verse from the Gospel of Matthew (18:15-17), \u201cIf thy brother shall trespass against thee, go tell him his fault between him and thee alone. If he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word shall be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church but if he neglects to hear the church, let him unto thee and heathen man and a publican.\u201d<\/em> This is a reminder of our responsibility as children of God and believers of Christ and a warning for those who choose not to listen and give in to their pride and sin. We are responsible for one another.\u00a0 We should exert efforts to correct our brothers and let them not fall into sin. Also, we are free men, and such free will means we are also accountable for the consequences of our own good and bad choices. (Lea Basilio)<\/strong><\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_post_nav admin_label=”Post Navigation” in_same_term=”off” hide_prev=”off” hide_next=”off” prev_text=”PREVIOUS ARTICLE” next_text=”NEXT ARTICLE” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid” \/][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label=”row” global_module=”31736″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_team_member admin_label=”Lea Basilio” global_parent=”31736″ name=”Lea Basilio” position=”Senior Writer, Website Team, Media Ministry” image_url=”http:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/profile-lea.jpg” animation=”off” background_layout=”light” facebook_url=”https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lea.m.basilio” twitter_url=”https:\/\/twitter.com\/LeaMBee” header_font=”|on|||” header_font_size=”14″ body_font=”||on||” body_font_size=”12″ use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid” custom_css_member_image=”padding-top: 30px;||padding-left: 10px;||padding-right: 10px;” custom_css_member_description=”padding-top: 20px;” background_color=”#f2f2f2″] Maria Leonora Basilio<\/b> or simply Lea is a graduate of Bachelor of Science in Mathematics Minor in Computer Science in Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila. Lea is an active server of the church because aside from being a member of San Lorenzo Ruiz Choir (SLRC), she is also a member of Media and Public Information Ministry where she shares her love for writing. [\/et_pb_team_member][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Remember this verse from the Gospel of Matthew (18:15-17), \u201cIf thy brother shall trespass against thee, go tell him his fault between him and thee alone. If he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":31209,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31208","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-catholic-faith","category-evangelization"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8Ootw-87m","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aranzazushrine.ph\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/shake-hands-with-Gods.jpg?fit=900%2C699&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31208","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31208"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31208\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31754,"href":"https:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31208\/revisions\/31754"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/31209"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31208"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31208"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aranzazushrine.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31208"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}